Dear
Idiot #1 and 2,
I
caught your debate on Goodreads and was intrigued enough to enough to
see what all the fuss was about. I downloaded both and read them over
last week, and let me say: I have no idea why you two would seek to
draw attention to yourselves this way.
You
may both be talented writers, but it's clear you both are rather
delusional, amongst other mental deficiencies, which only mars your
stories...
Emma,
what I can I say? They have support groups for those obsessed with
Twilight. You need to find one and quickly. I don't know if you
know this, but even Stephanie Meyers has abandoned her series.
Twilight is over, and I hate to tell you this but even the actors
have given up on it, and each other. Not to mention, they got back
together briefly, which invalidates your plot/fantasy. So basically,
we can deep six your book, but we won't, just for the purpose of
smearing it across Cyberland.
Jacy,
I had a real problem with your book. Girl, Elvis is dead and I hope
most of his fans have found a new obsession, because when Elvis when
to Los Vegas it resulted in the sort of mind blowing travesty the
Federal government should have stepped in to prevent. I'm talking
about the sort of heinous misjudgment that could upset the natural
order of the universe and end life as we know it. Someone should've
retired Elvis few jelly donuts before he got to that point. You
deserve to be hung and quartered for even thinking about introducing
him in your book. It should be a crime resurrecting a sad, pathetic
American icon in a book for the mere hope his name might sell a few
books! We don't need to be reminded, we need to forget.
Emma,
you're just as bad. I meant what the hell! Even Priceline killed off
William Shatner, I'm not sure who is worse. Elvis or Shatner. But
Shatner never could act, and as he became rounder and more arrogant,
what few acting skills he owned gone as fast as warp speed. You
should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that was a good idea.
But,
having looked at what was suppose to be your criteria for a quirky
romance, I managed to somehow overcome these horrible absurdities and
try to judge you books fairly. And while I think you both are
complete idiots of the first order, I will try to actually debate the
merits of your badly flawed books tomorrow on Goodreads, if you have
the courage to accept my challenge.
Sincerely,
The
reviewnutt,
Your
1234567 fan.
Help me my dear friends...I implore you!
